Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

Thảo luận trong 'Quán café cóc' bắt đầu bởi Mẹ Cáo, 17/4/09.

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    Mẹ Cáo

    Mẹ Cáo New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    20/3/09
    RECOMMENDED TRAINING PROGRAMME FOR STAFF

    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T .) .

    We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. , please see your supervisor.. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

    Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. seriously will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.).

    Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
    TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T .)

    Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T.
    anymore, because they are all full of S.H.I.T.. already. If you too are full of S.H.I.T. , you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. ) .

    Thank you,
    BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH
    INTENSITY TRAINING
    (B.I.G.S.H..I.T.)

    P/S Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5 people who need S.H.I.T. in their life, just not the same person who sent this S.H.I.T. To you...They have already had enough S.H.I.T. !!!!
     
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    nikita24480

    nikita24480 New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    20/3/09
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    I definitely love your S.H.I.T story:laughing::laughing::laughing:
     
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    nikita24480

    nikita24480 New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    20/3/09
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    hoa Dím

    hoa Dím New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    23/3/09
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    Oh, my God!
     
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    BB&C

    BB&C New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    17/3/09
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ


    :laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:
     
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    Phuc & Chip Bong

    Phuc & Chip Bong New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    18/3/09
    Nghề nghiệp:
    Nghề rất chán nhưng vẫn yêu :)
    Nơi ở:
    Định Công, HN
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    (Please go back to the time of G. Bush, Condoleeza Rice & Kofi Annan)
    > >
    > > A conversation between Dubya and Condoleeza...
    > >
    > > Bush:"Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
    > >
    > > George: "Great. Tell me !!!"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new leader of China."
    > >
    > > George: "That's what I want to know."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you."
    > >
    > > George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes."
    > >
    > > George: "I mean the fellow's name."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Hu."
    > >
    > > George: "The guy in China."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Hu."
    > >
    > > George: "The new leader of China."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Hu."
    > >
    > > George: "The Chinaman!"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China."
    > >
    > > George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
    > >
    > > George: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "That's the man's name."
    > >
    > > George: "That's who's name?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes."
    > >
    > > George: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "That's correct."
    > >
    > > George: "Then who is in China?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Yassir is in China?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "No, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Then who is?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Yassir?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "No, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Look, Condoleeza. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
    > >
    > > George: "No, thanks."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "You want Kofi?"
    > >
    > > George: "I Said No!!!"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "You don't want Kofi."
    > >
    > > George: "No, But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
    > >
    > > George: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "And call who?"
    > >
    > > George: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Hu is the guy in China."
    > >
    > > George: "Will you stay out of China?!"
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
    > >
    > > George: "And stay out of the Middle East!
    > > Just get methe guy at the U.N."
    > >
    > > Condoleeza: "Kofi."
    > >
    > > George: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."
    >
     
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    nikita24480

    nikita24480 New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    20/3/09
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    Great story man:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:
     
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    BB&C

    BB&C New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    17/3/09
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    :laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:
     
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    Phuc & Chip Bong

    Phuc & Chip Bong New Member

    Tham gia ngày:
    18/3/09
    Nghề nghiệp:
    Nghề rất chán nhưng vẫn yêu :)
    Nơi ở:
    Định Công, HN
    Ðề: Chuyện cười tiếng Anh ạ

    Hi,

    Kids say the most Darnest Things
    >
    > >>EACHER: Why are you late?
    > >> > WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
    > >> > TEACHER: What sign?
    > >> > WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math sums
    > >> > on the floor?
    > >> > CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    > >> > JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    > >> > TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    > >> > JOHN: Maybe it s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    > >> > SARAH: H I J K L M N O !!
    > >> > TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    > >> > SARAH: Yesterday you said it is H to O!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
    > >> > GEORGE: Here it is!
    > >> > TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
    > >> > CLASS: George!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
    > >> > that we didn't have ten years ago.
    > >> > WILLY: Me!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
    > >> > TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you? are.
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
    > >> > ELLEN: I is...
    > >> > TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
    > >> > ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the?alphabet."
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
    > >> > JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
    > >> > same day, same time."
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his
    > >> > father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why
    > >> > his father didn't punish him?"
    > >> > JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers
    > >> > before eating?
    > >> > SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
    > >> > exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    > >> > DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
    > >> >
    > >> > TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on?talking
    > >> > when people are no longer interested?
    > >> > STUDENT:?A teacher.
    > >> >
    > >> > SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
    > >> > FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
    > >> > SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
     

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